there so much i wanna say .. i just don’t really care that much to say it. 

one thing i will say is that most people in my generation are so mind bogglingly stupid. i hate it. i want it to stop -____-

I still get surprised by how much he loves me. I’m not use to it, I didn’t think it could happen.. that a boy could actually love me.. or at least love the way he does. I know they could be attracted to me, but love me.. like really in love with me. 

he’s different .. really different. in the way he treats me, he really CARES about everything I have to say. he gives me advice, i give him advice.. we support each other to the fullest. i’m completely comfortable around him, and other little things. I’ve never felt this way. and I’m young i know.. but how young are we really? I’m old enough to know how i feel about him, and that the feeling are accurate. its a new feeling, something i’ve never experienced before.. 

I’m not gonna lie i was confused at first, I knew what i wanted, but i didn’t know what he wanted. he’s kinda easy to read, yet hard at the same time. i guess i was figuring him out..“does he really feel this way about me o.0” 

but now i’m more than sure. 

I’m really happy… 

if i shared my natural thoughts with the world .. without thinking before speaking, you would think i’m sick in the head.

SICK

I feel like going away .. on vacation .. but like in hawaii or fiji or something .. somewhere where the beaches are breath taking .. and laying on the sand listening to the ocean waves .. not having to worry about anything. 

reading makes me fall asleep :’( i need to drink like .. a 5 hour energy thing and finish reading this freakin book “the bluest eye“ 

when i stay in the house all day .. i start to go crazy .. i feel like I’m in prison and i get nauseous .. :’( I NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE ! .. but its all my moms fault, cause then she’s gonna ask to many questions .. but thats what moms are suppose to do i guess. 

so I’m just here waiting for august & spinz to send me some beats so i can use this time to write.

i don’t like being put in a situation to hurt someone. but somehow i always find myself in those situations.